The Mother of All Days

Today started out on a fairly good note.

For starters our carpets where scheduled to get cleaned which is super exciting since they are only about 8 years overdue for a good scrubbing.

Then the cleaning company called and cancelled the appointment.
Their van couldn't navigate the roads to our
house due to the snow storm last night.
.
After an hour online I had another company scheduled to come out.
So of course 10 minutes later the original company called back saying the roads weren't that bad after all and they were only a few minutes away.
.
A nice young man showed up and immediately
started on the downstairs hallway.
.
My naughty little boy decided to...well...to be naughty.
As I was chasing him to get him out of the way of all
the carpet cleaning equipment
.
I stubbed my toes....hard
I'm talking bloody, bruised and purple hard
.
It doesn't help that I have absolutely no tolerance for pain
You know the pain scale they have you look at when your in the hospital?


I'm rarely (okay..never) below a 7 for an injury
.
My stubbed toe injury?
A solid 10 on the pain scale.
.
After the carpet guy was done I headed into the kitchen to write him a check.
Transitioning from a wet carpet to a kitchen floor should probably be done cautiously.

I happen to throw caution to the wind most of the time
and it certainly didn't pay off in this case.
.
I did the splits
.
for the first time ever
(in front of the carpet guy)

A strong 12 on the pain scale
A strong 12 in the embarrassment category

The carpet guy finished ahead of schedule and I was happy to see that I could make it to a play date I'd had scheduled with friends.

I still thought the day could be salvaged!

About an hour later I was happily sitting with friends as our kids played together.

What a great play date!

Until I got smacked in the forehead by a toilet seat.

don't ask.

An impressive 14 on the pain scale.
A ridiculous 16 in the embarrassment category.


After the toilet seat incident,
I went a good 6 hours without another injury.

Until I rammed my elbow into a light switch in our hallway.

An out of this world 20 on the pain scale.

I am proud of myself though because immediately
after I hit my elbow, about 10 of the worst possible
bad words I could think of all popped into my head at once.
.
But somehow I kept my mouth shut.
.
So I cried instead.
.
What else was there to do?
I bawled like a little girl
.
I am officially done with today.
.
Today has sucked.

So in case you haven't been following my
ridiculously no good, crappy day,
here is a recap:
.
I smashed my toes
.
My body contorted
into the very painful splits
.
I took a toilet seat to the forehead
.
I broke my elbow
(that's only a slight exaggeration)


I am so not getting out of bed tomorrow.